i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Randomize
