great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
