His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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