me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I just spent so much time grooming my landing strip and like, sex isn't even on the agenda tonight.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
