You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
Please don't give away my fajitas
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
