Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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