just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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