her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
