youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Randomize
