So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
