So drunk, too bad you don't want this
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
Randomize
