They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
Randomize
