I just got invited to go home with a married couple...
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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