The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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