do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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