You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
