How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
If I have to give a UPS guy a lap dance, you owe me a drink.
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
Randomize
