He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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