I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
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