It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
