super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
being pregnant is like rehab
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
