Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
a search helicopter?!
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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