she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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