The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
