The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize