i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
