I'm lost and stupid without you.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Randomize
