I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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