she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
