STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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