she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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