Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
Randomize
