Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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