I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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