Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize