She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Randomize
