i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize