so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
In America we eat man semen.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
