: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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