Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Randomize
