Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
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