btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Your shirt... Was in my pants
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
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