when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
