My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
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