she smelled like a LAN party
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
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