The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
