but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
