Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize