Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
On today's episode of "What the Shit Did I Do Last Night," drunk me deleted ALL of the text messages I've ever had. Awesome.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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