I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
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