pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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