I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
Randomize
