how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
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1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
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Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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