make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
