How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
