Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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