yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
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what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
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I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this