can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat