i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.