A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction