we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
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Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled