i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
someone owes me an orgasm
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize