i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
