is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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