i barfeds in our rink
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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