after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
